Chapter 9 – ItFu*K

Just Unmarried | A Novel written by Vikas Bharti

Just Unmarried, Chapter 9 - It*Fuck. Writer - Vikas Bharti

*Note: If you have not read the chapters before this, check them here

‘Itfak agar itfak se hote
to zindgi itfak se jyada na hoti’

kabhi kabhi ye itfak life bna b deta h…..
‘kya karu ab???  Kaha jau???’

Kabhi kabhi life me kuch aisa hota h ki aapko lgta h ki aap movie me h n ab life ki what lgne wali h

Hindi wala what

‘Janab jo b kiya hoga is chore ne hi kiya hoga.’

Kisi k rone ki siskiya sunai de rhi thi.

‘Hosh me aane de fir khabar lete h iski’

Aankhe halke se khuli n jo nazara dikha ki jhatke se hosh aa gya. I was in a police station. M ek bench pr betha hu aur Total 2-3 police hi dikh rhe the. wireless sets baj rhe the n pta nhi kon kon police station aane ki announcement  rha tha.

‘janab. Hosh me aa gya londa’ ek hawaldar ne aa kr mera chehra pakda n meri aankho me dekha.

‘kya hua sir???’ m thoda dar gya tha police vale ko itne karib dekh k.

‘beta soch aur yaad kr ki tune kya kiya tha’ police vale ne apne chehre k expression change kr kr k ye dialog bola.

I was confused that what I have done. Meri t-shirt par blood abhi b tha n vo ab b liquid form me tha. Mirror to tha nhi ki dekhu ki kaha kaha lagi h, to hath se chehra n sar chune laga.

‘ooo god. Ye kab lag gai????’ mera hath sar par hi chipak gya.

Apne dard ko mahsus hi kr rha tha ki siskiya suru ho gai. Nazaro ko ghumaya to dekha ki bench pr akela nhi tha. Ek ladki apna chehra apne balo me chupae, sar niche rakh k ro rhi h. dhire se usne apne dono hatho se apne aansu poche n mujhe uski halki si jhalak mili.

Vo dar rhi thi mujhse, aur achanak tej tej rone lagi. Usne apne baal apne chehre se hatake piche kiye. Tab ja k mujhe pura chehra dikha.

‘Oh teri….’

31st December, 2013

Drink krne ka ek fayda to hota h ki nashe me na hote hue b aap nashe me rhte h.

main bs ek shot down tha n dance ki masti me sab kuch bhul k bs enjoy kr rha tha. Shrab aur music ki masti k is andhere shor me har chiz bhula k hum 2 kamine enjoy kr rhe the aur apne liye new gf dundh rhe the. Ladkiyo ko date krna life ka ek hisa sa banta jar ha tha. Pichale 1 saal me 12 ladkiyo ko date kr chukka tha. But unme se koi 1 week b nhi ruki. May b m jise dundh rha tha vo koi aur hi thi.

New year aur new GF mujhse kuch pal dur thi. Mohit ko bhid me 2 ladkiya dikhi n vo uth kr sidha unhe approach marne chala gya. Mohit ka jadoo chal gya aur 2 min me unme se 1 mohit ki kamar se nagin bn kr lipat gyi. Ab to ye dekhne ki adat ho chuki thi, college k 4 saalo se sabse smart ladka tha. Ladkiya us par n uske paiso pr marti thi.

Vo un dono ladkiyo ko le kr counter pr aa gya. Unme se ek ladki meri traf aise dekh rhi thi ki jaise janti ho, but nashe me sayad sab ek jaise lagte ho. Introduction hua. ‘she is Bhawna n she is Ashu. Mohit aur Bhawna dance krne chale gye. Ab m aur Ashu bache hue the. Maine use drink k liye pucha.

‘kitni pila sakte ho??’ usne pucha. Sayad ye sawal usne mere purse se pucha tha.

Jab mohit pas me ho to paise ki chinta nhi hoti. So I asked her for bet.

‘Jo harega vo bill bharega. N jisne pahle back mari ya jiske shots kum hue vo har jaega.’

Mohit aur Bhawna ne b hume tabhi join kr liya. 20 shots k sath hum shuru ho gye. 8 shots marne k baad back marne ka mann kr rha tha, but bet jeetni b thi to 9th utha liya. But Ashu ne back mar di n niche b gir padi. Ye hum sab k liye bda embarrassing tha. Meri b halat khade rhne k layak nhi thi to Mohit n Bhawna ne use uthaya. Mohit vapis aaya n bill bhar k mujhe pakad k le gya.

‘yr iski mom ko pta chala to hum dono ki class lga dengi n aunty ne bola tha bs ek drink hi lena’ Bhawna ne kaha.

‘yr badi naap tol k pine ka gyan diya h mata ji ne’ Mohit said n m aur Mohit ek dusre ki traf dekh kr husne lage.

Do din k bad…..

Ladke pedayshi kamine hote h ye baat to jag janti h but jab ye ladkiya bolti h to humara sina 1 inch aur fool jata h. Hum gae to the Mohit k dadaji  ki mout me sharikh hone but thoda dukhi hone k bad hum vaha bethi ladkiya tadne lag gae. But ek ladki vaha chunni se sar chupae bethi thi. Sab ladke use tad rhe the n uske figure k raaz bta rhe the. Hum fir se yaha vaha ki baato me lag gae. Ek aunty ki awaz se us shant si bhid ki nazare us ladki ki traf chali gai.  Vo ladki vaha bethe bethe gir gai thi us aunty par.

‘Shit yaar. Ye to Ashu h.’ maine apne dosto ki traf dekh kr bola.

Uski mom ne use uthaya n gate se bahr le gai. hum log b bahar aa k nazara dekhne lag gae. Uski mom ne use car me bitaya n vapis andar chali gai. M car k pas gya. Use dekh kr hi pta chal rha tha ki vo nashe me h.

‘kam se kam kisi ki death par to pi kr nhi aati’ vo window open kr k driver seat pr bethi hui thi.

‘Pine se hi mera figure bna h. apne dosto ko bta dena…   seriously tum ladke bade kamine hote ho yaar.’

‘thanks for the compliment’

‘tum kamine nhi lagte ho but apne dosto k sath rah kr ho jate ho. Tumhari awaz sunai nhi di mere figure ki tariff me???  Q???’

‘qki saari ladkiya white suit me ek jaisi lag rhi thi. bahanji type. But tumhe aisi jagah dekhne ki umid nhi ki thi.’

‘yr meri ma ne emotional atyachar kiya tha vrna kon aata itni boring jagah pe.’ Hum dono husne lg gye.

‘chalo CP chalte h. pas hi h.’ aur itna kah k usne driver seat khali kr di aur shift ho gyi.

‘q yr yaha b baat kr skte h. vaise b mere friends h yaha.’ M thode nakhre kr rha tha.

‘janeman chalo to sahi kya pta m apne figure k aur raaz bta du.’ Uski aankho me ek naughtiness thi.

M smile k sath car me beth gya n us bewadi ko CP ki traf le gya. M to ye dekh kr heran tha ki us gadhi ne maiyat me aane k liye b makeup kr rakha tha. CP k nazare me ek baat bohot achi thi, ‘ladkiya’ kilo k bhav se ladkiya hi ladkiya.

‘A lot can happen over coffee.’ Usne fir se tedi nigah se dekha. Uske lips ka curve ek til pr end ho rha tha aur vo uske chehre ki khubsurati ka 60% tha.

‘two black coffee without sugar.’

‘yr m sexy nhi hu?? tumhe m moti lagti hu??’ ab waiter hume dekh kr hus rha tha.

‘nhi. One black coffee and one cappuccino with tons of cream.’

‘thank you yr agar ye humari second date nhi hoti to shadi kr leti tujhse.’

 ‘second date se dhyan aaya ki kya kamal ki raat thi vo.’ Aur hum ek dusre ki taraf dekhne lge. Thodi hi der me hum hus hus k zameen pr gire pade the.


Read the previous chapters of this novel online here: 

  1. Chapter 1 – BIKe 
  2. Chapter 2 -CRasH LANdINg
  3. Chapter 3 – THE JUDGEMENT DAY
  4. Chapter 4 – Wrong Turn
  5. Chapter 5 – The D-day
  6. Chapter 6 – MISS DRAMA QUEEN
  7. Chapter 7 – 1 ANAAR 2 BIMAAR
  8. Chapter 8 – World-cup Final

You can read more about the writer Vikas Bharti here.


PC: Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

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